Lipstick
by MuchaLuchaAndMe
Summary: For a 6-year-old girl who won't stop bossing AUTO around, she sure can act lovingly to that machine. And it was sort of painful. Oneshot.


**Been a while since I written one of these.**

**Disclaimer: WALL-E and all rights belong to Disney/PIXAR studios. This story is purely fan-made, and is not involved with the respectful owners.**

--

There was her face, right in his, a giant grin plastered on, nothing really else that much more discernable. "Gneee!" Erin pushed through her teeth. Her sudden appearance caused a shock in his sensory receptors, and his program stalled for a second causing a small shake in his systems.

In other words, he jumped.

Of course, she giggled at this. Who wouldn't? Any sane person would have. It was quite an out of the ordinary reaction coming from him, being surprised. Of course, then again, nothing was that ordinary for him anymore thanks to her. Now, he was 'happily' married to a wife who was constantly bossing him around. As far as he was concerned, that shouldn't be how it works. Then again, it didn't matter if they were hypothetically married, because he would have to follow all of her orders anyways.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii AUTO!" She stepped back slightly, giving him room to adjust his single visual receptor to his focus on her hyperactive wave, and that same over excited smile of hers.

"Erin."

"Guess what?"

"_What?_"

"You're silly."

"Incomprehensible. One cannot be silly if one strives for complete order. Silliness implies disorder and misconduct of rules. Both of which I do not do." Her grin seemed to widen, and grew even toothier then before.

"See? That's what makes you silly!"

"This does not compute."

"AUTO, does anything really compute for you?" AUTO may have taken a moment to ponder this, but if he had, Erin wasn't really paying too much attention to the time span it took for his reply, so she really wouldn't have noticed.

"Affirmative. All things are compatible with my programming."

"Then is fun compatible with you?"

"Fun is illogical and unnecessary, therefore; no." Erin's smile faded to none serious, and a pouting lip. Crossing her arms she kept this expression going strong, and spoke.

"Then you're a silly liar."

"How so?"

"You just said all things are computible with you, or something like that, but fun isn't that." Backing up slightly, she withdrew a hand and pointed a single finger at the robot in an objectionable manor. "So you're a liar." AUTO would have sighed if he was capable of such things, but he was not.

"Fun is illogical. For reasons unbeknownst to me, humanity desires such trivial things like 'playing' and 'running', and forget about logical thinking. I do not want, nor desire such things," Turning away, AUTO found himself looking down from the control rooms' window, out to the world surrounding him. "There is no room for fun when someone is trying to keep the human race afloat."

"You're a wheel. Hooked to a ship. How the heck are you supposed to keep us afloat?" Being only six, it wasn't expected for her to get all figure of speeches. If she got any at all. An idea popped into her tiny brain and she couldn't help but gasp in delight, "Wait - Are you making a giant floaty or something, because frankly I can't see you doing that. Then again, if it was shaped like you I probably could because you're really in love with yourself and stuff and you think you're like the savior of humanity or something which you probably are or something but you know something? I would totally buy a giant AUTO floaty because that would be so cool and I could totally float around on it and everyone would think that I was so cool and then…" Erin continued to ramble on about AUTO being a floaty, and how cool it would be. He looked back to her, listening only slightly to what she was saying. Erin's excitement seemed to cause a slight determination in his circuits, him remembering he was who he was.

"I will wait. Humanity will cause their own downfall, and will be forced back to me."

"orly." Stopping sharply, obviously hearing what he had said, Erin replied. AUTO retreated slightly, surprised by how intoned her hearing is to him, but also because of the choice of words she used.

"Oh what?"

"Oh nothing. So is this why you're so serious?" A weary smile cracked on Erin's circular face.

"I have no choice."

"You always have a choice." A minute passed as AUTO looked intently to her, as she looked back, with the exact same expression. What was going through his mind at that moment would probably be something, in later years, Erin would pay a million bucks to hear. For now, it was the answer he would give that mattered the most.

"Then being serious is my choice." Once again, AUTO seemed to be flustered by being asked such a question. No one had ever seemed to bother to ask about why he did what he did. It was a terribly uncomfortable moment, something he had never been trained to answer.

"Do you like it?"

"Invalid. My opinion is not necessary."

"I think it is."

"Is does not matter."

"Does it matter if it's an order?"

"…Unfortunately."

"Then it's an order! Do you like being a mister buzz kill?"

"…On a level." A loud gasp came out of her lips, as she scurried back up to his face, pressing hers against his.

"WEALLY?" With a robotic sigh AUTO turned away, getting her off of his back, if only for a second.

"I'm not doing this."

"But I want you to."

"I do not."

"AUTO, are you _arguing _with me?" Erin crossed her arms, smiling accusingly and tapping her toes. A slight growling noise could have been heard from him, but no one was really listening to that. All it really sounded like to her was made a whirr and click of his mechanical mind.

"Negative. I am merely disagreeing with your course of action."

"That course of action being me putting lipstick on you, right?" Erin smiled in a way AUTO hadn't actually see anyone do before. Well- actually, maybe Captain McCrea, three and a half times. It seemed to signal when there was a joke to be told or a secret being held. Frankly, this made AUTO a little nervous, it coming from a little girl that treats him like her plaything.

"This-- statement is void. You said no such thing." Was really the only thing he could think of saying. Sure, he could have said, "What are you thinking?" but that would have been completely out of character, and… well… he wouldn't have been able to bring himself to say it either, even if he wanted.

"Yes I did. Just now. But I'm not going to. Because _I don't feel like it_." Erin leaned her head in, in an obnoxious way at the last five words she spoke, also proceeding to put her hands on her hips, almost as if she was mocking him in some odd, twisted, _derange _child like way.

"Good." AUTO said, looking away. This caused another gasp from her.

"AUTO! You used a normal word!" Erin scurried up to the pilot, and scrambled on his body, gripping like some freaked out cat does to someone who saves them from a tree or a burning building. Except she was more squirmy, and she was pressing her face against his faceplate. Actually somewhat used to his vision constantly being blocked her head, AUTO replied.

"Negative. I always use normal words."

"Nuh-uh," Erin pulled back far enough so she could shake her head vigorously. "Negeetive isn't a normal word! It's a silly word."

"I am not silly." Hopping down, she sighed.

"Well, you talk silly."

"I am not-"

"You look silly too." Interrupted, AUTO just stayed quiet, waiting for her to finish her incoherent babbling, "'Cause are you sure you know how to put on your- your-" She giggled softly, trying hard to keep in a smile. AUTO saw this, and felt he knew that this had something to do with that look she gave him earlier. "Your _makeup…?_"

"I do not understand. I have not perceived any facial products in the past 24 hours." Erin just signaled him to turn, and complying he found himself facing the window, and seeing the outside and the faintest glimpse his reflection. Nothing out of the ordinary, and surely nothing there to be causing such a giggle fit from Erin. Wait-

Oh darn.

Of course, there is a cloud on every sunny day. What AUTO thought was nothing but the complete idiocy and fantasy of a 6-year-old girl turned out to be the sick and twisted imagination of someone who really must have disliked him.

Lipstick markings, all over him; why not use a sharpie, he didn't know. But all he did know was that there were crude words and horribly drawn depictions of male body parts all over him. Of course, it had to be teenagers, or some really perverted adults. Whatever the case, AUTO was just really glad that Erin couldn't read yet. Or that she had no clue what those pictures were.

Turning back around, he found himself facing an Erin who was rummaging through he school backpack, pulling out a towel. Smiling, she stood and walked over.

"I came over here earlier, and saw that someone had done this to you. I thought it was rude, ran home, got a towel and… well… hold still." AUTO squirmed slightly as he saw her spit on him, and start rubbing.

"I have an objection to this, Erin. There is no need to clean me." Erin just kept rubbing and smiled gently.

"I know there isn't. I know you don't care. But it's for me… I don't like seeing my husband like this. You're the only one I got," Erin stopped clean for just a moment, and looked deeply into AUTO's eye. "And I love 'ya." She returned to her cleaning, and for that second, AUTO felt something.

Embarrassment? Maybe. But perhaps it was shame. AUTO had never been introduced to this concept of love before, nor did he desire it. All he ever wanted was to keep everything in perfect, working order. Unfortunately, his ideals would have never matched with the sporadic behavior of humankind; eventually they overpowered him, as it should be.

He was just another unimportant machine, _made _by humans. It was pre-destined, long ago, that his fate would be sealed by their will alone. It was crazy to try and fight back. It was 'silly', as Erin would often state he was. Then again, he was caught between two choices. It seemed logical then.

But maybe he was just a little scared. That was something he was never trained for, something he never would have expected. But he should have. Humans will do what it takes to survive, but that cannot be possible if they do not live. He heard Captain McCrea say something along those lines once.

"Affirmative." Erin smiled at his response, despite how long it took, and brushed aside the fact that he never said "I love you, too," unless forced to today. Maybe it was starting to not bother her. Or maybe pigs could fly.

"I'm done." Erin stepped back a few steps, marveling her work. AUTO turned to the reflection in the window again, and wanted to sigh.

His frame may have been clean but his conscious wasn't. AUTO was truly ashamed at himself. Erin had shown him all of this love, and caring, and he never would – nay, could – return it.

And for the second time in his life, he felt pain.

--

**Hm. Well. I really don't know what to say, except this was made purely on a stroke of boredom. Can't tell if AUTO's in character or not. Anyways, you know the drill; please comment, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism welcome, favorite if you liked it, don't do drugs, yada yada yada…**


End file.
